A Smeddling Kiss

In Which The BlogHer Swag Comes in Handy

Every year, I get at least one bad respiratory illness. So far this winter, I've been very lucky - the few little head colds I've caught haven't settled in my chest. Notice how I said, "So far...?"

Yup. I'm sick. I woke up Thursday morning with the feeling that I was wearing a lead x-ray bib on my throat and chest. Of course, I CAN'T be sick this week - there is way too much going on - so I'm pretty much trying everything I can think of to head it off before I reach the "time to visit the doctor for a narcotic cough syrup prescription" phase.

So here I am, laying here in bed, tapping away on my iPhone, slathered in Vick's VapoRub. I took cough medicine, used my inhaler, and then found a little tub of the Vick's in my medicine cabinet, compliments of the swag haul from last summer's BlogHer conference. I can't remember ever using vaporub, but I do remember reading comments on parenting websites swearing that slathering a child's feet with Vick's and putting socks on will miraculously quiet coughs.

I'll keep you posted as to how well it works.

In Which the Heat Addles Everyone's Brains

I'll be generous and blame it on the heat, but it's been weird nonetheless. It has the surreal feeling of a post-apocolyptic everyone-out-for-themselves movie, and I half expect to be hunted down for my water or batteries or whatever the fuck people from over the bridge want. But I'll get back to that later.

This week has been crazed, full of appointments and running hither and yon and back to hither, with each trip taking much longer than it should thanks to the crush of tourists on Cape Cod.

I've been busy with kid stuff and house stuff and BlogHer'10 stuff and life stuff, some of it fabulous and some of it crappy. It seems like for every taste of emotional sugar I've been given this week, a blast of sour has come from out of nowhere to temper the sweet.  

Much of the off-kilter feeling is due to the steroid regimen I'm taking in an attempt to tame the plantar fasciitis before I get to BlogHer'10 next week.  I've been energized and a little shaky all week, no doubt the result of sleeping around 4 hours each night, but life events have certainly contributed their share. 

There was the short-lived panic about the well-being of a family member, subsequently assuaged by treating him to an all-you-can-eat buffet lunch and hashing out his problems. 

Then there was the feedback session for Peanut's neuropsychological evaluation, which was interesting. His profile has changed considerably from the last time we had him tested and while it was mostly good news it is still a lot to process. And even though I know that he is the same child I have raised for the last 7 years, hearing about some of those gains and deficits - and what they might mean for the future - is hard.

And there was also my rising excitement for BlogHer, as I prepare to focus on only myself for 4 days. It's so much fun when my on-line world comes to life for a few days, as I've learned from previous years.  The flood of invitations to private parties at BlogHer is something that is new to me. This is my 3rd BlogHer conference and I've never been invited to any of the private sponsored parties before, but I've somehow landed on some pr lists and my in-box has been deluged. It's ridiculous and puzzling, since I'm not a very active blogger and I don't give stuff away or have a large audience to influence, but I have to admit that it is fun to open up the in-box and have that "No waaay! Cool!" rush.

Back to the weirdness.  In all of this here life stuff, there has been a lot of driving around, which means a lot of dealing with traffic, and heat, and tourists... which means a lot of handling the CRAZY PEOPLE. I have seen two accidents happen right in front of me and multiple incidents of reckless bicycle operation which should have resulted in serious maimings. I even had my cart rammed in the grocery store by a nasty old lady who used her cart to shove mine out of her way instead of asking me! To top it all off, I've been personally flipped off by no less than 3 separate angry, pinch-faced old white men in the same afternoon for letting someone merge in front of me.

I never thought taking a trip from Cape Cod to New York City would result in my having contact with less crazy people.

New Beginnings... Blah Blah Blah.

I've been neglecting this blog. I know it, you know it, and even BlogHer knows it. They keep sending me nice emails saying I haven't posted and they'll reinstate my ads when I post. When I read one I get that "But I don't know what to write about!" sick feeling in my stomach. 

I feel bound, trapped, and exhausted when I think about writing a blog post. That isn't a good place to be. Like many bloggers, I've been struggling with where I draw the line between blogging and real life. The whole "secret identity" thing is getting old. 

I wrote about my experience at BlogHer last summer, where I came out of a discussion about blogging anonymously and then ran into someone I went to high school with. More and more lately, I find myself wishing I could speak up in my real life without giving away the "secret blog." More and more, my life intersects with local bloggers and I want to just be out on the web as myself. 

I'm getting there, I think. I need to take some time and read through my archives and see if anything I wrote 4 years ago will hurt anyone I might tell about the blog today. It's going to take some time. The cool thing is that I'm stepping up my blogging game a bit with a new website and my own domain. I've owned the domain name for years and have never done anything with it, but have now put the ladies from Sweet Blog Design to work on switching me to a snazzy new on-line pad. With that being said, I want to give a big shout out to those of you who continue to keep me in your bookmarks and feed readers. I'm still here and I'm so grateful you are too.

Labels: blogging, frustration, lack of creativity for label nameing, social awkwardness, spring blahs, winter blahs