In the bottom, there are the usual suspects: no less than 7 pens, 4 lip colors, 2 combs, and 3 iPod devices, including my iPhone. (I usually end up carrying all the family devices by the end of a trip after too many "I can't find my ..." complaints.) My little owl purse, which I use to hold my reusable shopping bags, except it's empty because I keep forgetting to put the reusable bags back in the cute little owl purse.
Epipen, and Benadryl, and Dramamine, oh my! Wallet, sunglasses, random keyring gifted to us by Disney because it was our second Disney cruise. (Ugh. I just regurgitated a little at the knowledge that I am officially a member of the "Castaway Club.") Oh, yay! My spare car keys! I've been looking everywhere for those! What a clever place to keep them, right there with my car keys, so in case I ever lose my car keys... crap.
Mints, gum, Peanut's toothbrush. Wait a minute... if his toothbrush has been in my purse for a week, what's he been using to brush his teeth? Annnddd... a quick trip to the bathroom shows me that he's been using a WISP single use throwaway toothbrush for a week.
As if that wasn't proof of my TOTAL PARENTING AWESOMENESS, let's dig around in the purse a little more. What's this? Not one but TWO separate prescriptions for valium floating around in there! One for me, for the flight anxiety, for the flying on the plane to and from Florida. One for Peanut, for the dentist anxiety, for the pulling of several baby teeth to make some space for the whoppingly huge big boy teeth that are crowding in. (Perhaps I haven't impressed you with the veritable pharmacopeia I'm carrying around with me, but be assured that the receptionist at the pediatric cardiologist's front desk gave me a satisfyingly appalled reaction as I fumbled it all out searching for Peanut's health insurance card. Thank God the EKG was normal so I never have to see her again.)
And floating on top, like the steamed milk on my Crazy Ass Latte, are a billion scraps of paper. Appointment cards, shopping lists, receipts for purchases, and Peanut's allergy testing results:
Oh, goodie!!! He's even MORE allergic than we thought! And here I was, dragging him in for skin testing, hoping that he might have outgrown the peanut allergy... only to find out that not only is he still highly allergic to peanuts, he is also allergic to soy, egg yolks, almonds and watermelon! That's pretty much it. Well, there is the random flotsam of earplugs and paper clips and dimes and... oh, look! More drugs!!
Actually, it's an empty capsule from the ADHD medication Peanut is now taking every morning. I collect the empty capsules at Peanut's request, since he likes to fill them with baking soda and drop them in glasses of vinegar. What?!? There's nothing weird about that, right? Carrying around a bunch of empty pill capsules loose in your purse? I mean, it's not like I've got a purse full of drugs or anything... oh, wait.
Labels: ADHD, allergy, gimme the good drugs, total randomness


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